I haven’t done laundry in a couple years but my clothes are always neatly folded

How proto-cat burglars help me live my life

I started doing my own laundry somewhere around the 6th grade. I figure there’s at least 3 decades of me doing my own laundry.

I’ve taken my shirts to the cleansers, though, ever since I was in college. I am a disaster with the iron. I can do it, but I’d prefer not to.

Fast-forward to the current day...we have 7 people in our house. The washing machine is constantly going. Then it usually takes an eternity for the clothes to dry.

There’s always a lag. A big one.

Between work, preparing meals, and general parenting…there was very little time to do my laundry. No time at my own convenience.

As I type this here epistle, the laundry machines are working right in front of me. It never ends.

I decided to cut to the chase and stopped doing my laundry altogether. I couldn’t take it.

Putting an end to my laundry-doing has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made (certainly on the clothing front of things).

I now experience a lot less stress, much less worry, and thus more free-time to deal with more important things.

In the past and on my own, I'll admit, I was usually just lazy or too busy or both to do my own laundry. Now, I can’t fit in the time.

I may or may not have gone to a store like Target and loaded up on skivvies if I was running low. Or socks.

It really helped when I went on trips that Target was near the Portland airport. Commando is not an option for me.

So, Sensei...no laundry? What do you do...just throw it out with the trash and buy new stuff all the time?

Certainly not. Wasteful and expensive.

I now "send out" my laundry. I put it in big duffel bags. Some time during the day it disappears. The next day it comes back all nicely folded for me and I can put the clothes in my dresser drawers.

It’s a wonderful system and I should have been doing it for the last 20 years had I known about how much it would benefit me.

But it does cost money. Not as much as one might think, but it ain’t free.

I gladly pay the price.

Why?

Because it makes my life way easier. It’s a mutually beneficial exchange.

The laundry folks charge what they need to pick up my stuff, wash, fold, etc. and I pay them little green things for the privilege. I have no idea who these people are, either.

They swoop in at some unknown time during the day and grab my duffels of laundry.

The great Hudson Hawk looks like a chump of a cat-burglar in comparison.

Their ninja-like precision is also scary on the return trip. All the sudden, bags of clothing appear out of the ether at my front door.

Most importantly, my whites are clean.

"Why are you paying someone else to do something you can easily do yourself?"

Listen up, Chopper... I can do a lot of things with ease. Whether I want to spend the time or energy is another thing entirely.

The laundry thing is a big-time opportunity for me. Even though these laundry folks are somewhat ninja-adjacent, by no means are they rapacious predators of my own precious moolah.

My laundry guys are local, and my followers are global. So, no recommendations on that particular service.

But I've learned my lessons in life (well, it's a constant learning experience and I continue to learn). I like, nay, love doing this stuff and enjoy helping other people achieve their goals.

If it's in the realm of media creation—podcasts, email, and such—you may need a "coach."

That's just another thing I do.

As always,

Swinging on a Star,

Brian D. O’Leary